I think one of the best things about being limited by spastic back pain (more here) has been this: mental clarity. With my new physical limitations, in a weird way, I feel more observant.
I am very conscious of every move that I make, as I lay in bed all day. I wonder if the slightest movement will hurt my back, and I’m grateful when it doesn’t. I’m moving slowly, almost in a dream, as I cautiously start to get up and move around.
I tonight was able to walk downstairs (victory!) and fix myself a supper of charcuterie, cheese, and flatbread crackers. I don’t think anything has tasted that good in a long time: the unctuousness of the aged meat, the briny and creamy flavor of Mt Tam (my new favorite cheese), and the crispy-crackle sound of good crackers. A glass of dry and vibrant Soave Classico. Sacred music from Palestrina playing on the radio.
A simple meal, but one of the best in a long time. I’ll end it with a few pieces of dark chocolate.
Illness is a fact of life. It feels very purifying and makes me more grateful for The Basics of Life.