At Sheryl Sandberg’s talk the other week, she asked the audience a question from her book: “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

It’s a great question, and one about which I’ve been thinking since. Am I afraid? If so, of what am I afraid?

Coincidentally, a friend of mine is a successful VC and has decided to step back and instead pursue a career path in executive coaching. Using a framework and methodology from Harvard, I’m the first beta customer. The point of the sessions is to release someone’s full potential by identifying and then overcoming your greatest personal fears. We’ve only met up twice so far, but it’s been pretty cool.

What’s particularly interesting is that I’m starting to realize that my biggest fear, deep down and which took some unearthing, is to avoid a rough five-year patch in my life starting in 2nd grade.

You see, we had left the U.S. to move back to Indonesia, but shortly thereafter, my mother became very ill and almost died a few times in front of my eyes (her kidneys had failed, which led to numerous complications). My sister and I were living with a childless aunt who didn’t have a clue about parenting and was pretty harsh.

We were enrolled in a local school, where our American accents made us seem foreign. The culture shock was insane: brutal heat and humidity, no air conditioning, insane traffic, and social customs far different from the inner-city world of Brooklyn.

After a few months, we then moved back to the U.S. so that my mother could get better medical care. My parents spent a lot of time away from us while at the hospital, whilst yet another childless-and-harsh aunt took care of me and sister.

So, clearly, our world had changed drastically. My mother was the life of the party, cooked like a fiend and kept the house neat and bright. As she struggled for her life, and later, went through dialysis treatments to keep her alive but depleted and depressed, our home became quiet, we ate a lot of junk food, and the house was a pigsty.

Our lives were in a holding pattern, and disaster always seemed to loom around the corner. My mother frequently went to see her doctors, and you never knew if the latest blood test or examination would show a worsening condition or hint at end-of-life. The uncertainty was pretty constant and dis-comforting.

I remember as a child thinking to myself that I better shape my future. In third grade, for example, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner. It sucked. But, I didn’t want to go without, and I thought, “Well, who else is going to cook it if I don’t?” Did I really want take-out, junk food or frozen food for Thanksgiving dinner?

Thankfully, things changed when my mother received a kidney transplant, but since donor kidneys have a limited half-life, she was always worried that her health would go again. Life always felt tense and precarious to me as a child.

I recently spoke to my sister about the old days.  She said, “It seemed like we were breathing in Death wherever we were. It was always so close and around us all the time.”

Perhaps it’s why I work a lot and have a sense of urgency. I’ve seen that bad things can happen to good people. Time is precious.

It’s a good thing that I made friends easily, for that let me play at other people’s houses and see brighter households. I encountered parents who went to their children’s sports games and practices, asked about their grades, and seemed really interested in their kids’ lives.

I saw home-cooked meals and clean homes. I saw stability. I’m sure those families had flaws, too, but to me, they seemed like glimpses from a Norman Rockwell painting, like the one above.

And, all that is what I wanted for my future children.

I’m not sure how else these personal experiences have shaped me, as I’ll find out more in the coming sessions with my friend. And, I know that sharing all of this personal stuff might be TMI for some of you. But, I think a first step in overcoming a fear is to name it and put it out there.

And, I’ve just done that. I’m very grateful to my friend.

(This is a re-post of a blog entry I wrote a year ago):

This is a hard post to write. Today is May 12. It is the day of my mother’s birthday. She also died, at age 60, on May 12. That day also happened to be Mother’s Day. It was a difficult day with too many coincidences.

Soon after she passed away, I was at the funeral home. My mom kept in shoe boxes every greeting card my sister and I had ever given her. She had asked my sister that the boxes be placed in her casket after her death. I didn’t know about either the boxes or her request, until after my mother died.

And so, there I was, waiting for the funeral director, going through card after card as I relived past decades. There were hand-drawn cards from our youth, with unsteady writing and crayon pictures. There were also the polished store-bought cards I had sent as an adult. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. Too many memories. In shoe boxes.

The director came up to me. I stood up and handed the boxes to him. Giving away those cards was hard.

Afterwards, I drove back from the funeral home, and I thought about many things. In the silence, I thought about how my mother didn’t want to emigrate to the U.S. and leave her family, friends and culture. I remembered the very hard life we had when we first moved here with just $1,500. I remembered well our dilapidated apartment in a beaten-down part of Brooklyn. But, in the end, my mother persevered. She wanted a better life for her children.

As I drove, I regretted that I had never thanked my mother for moving to the U.S. It was a long drive.

Growing up, my mother used to say to me: “Please work hard at whatever you do for a living.” It was her polite way of saying: “I’ve given up a lot so that you might have more–so, don’t waste my sacrifice.”

Why do I write this? First, I think many VCs like what they do because we really identify with people who want to chase the American Dream. I definitely do.

To me, being a VC is not just a job. It’s personal.

Second, I find that many entrepreneurs can point to a person, who unwittingly planted the seeds of entrepreneurship in them early in life. I have met with probably over 5,000 founders in my venture capital career. They come from many backgrounds and areas of life. Not everyone shares why they are starting a new company, but when they do, the stories are fascinating. I find that these intensely personal “drivers of drive” are very inspiring.

I’d like to close with two last items. First, if you’re an entrepreneur, I’d love to hear about why you are one. You can always get a job working for someone else, but yet, you’ve decided to start something new. Why?

Second, to my mother, I hope this somehow gets to you: a very belated and deeply-felt thank you….

I’m home alone with the children this weekend, as my wife is out of town. What I thought was seasonal allergies has instead become a full-blown cold. I don’t feel well at all.

I’ve cancelled one of the kids’ weekend activities, but I will still be driving them around to some sports lessons this morning and am in charge of their meals.

Now, I’m lucky. These are “first-world problems,” I know. If I don’t have the energy to cook, I just call a pizza place or a restaurant delivery service. We have the money to do so.

This experience, though, makes me wonder as to how single parents do this job, day after day. And, if the single parent is working at a series of minimum wage jobs, how do they keep their personal insanity and create a great homelife for their kids? My guess is that many don’t.

So, here’s a personal nod to single moms and dads everywhere. I do not know what you’re going through. But, I want to say that I admire your mental toughness. I hope your children are showing their gratitude to you. I hope you hang in there.

Thank God. It’s over. The bombers have been caught.

It’s early Saturday morning. For the first time since Monday’s bombing, I woke up with peace and joy. I’ll always remember last night’s spontaneous jubilation in the streets, and the rousing applause and cheers the police received. Here’s an incredible (and short) video, which a friend shared on Facebook:

I also still shake my head in disbelief. How lucky am I that my youngest child and I didn’t linger in Boston on Marathon Day? Did I just witness an episode of the TV show “24″? Was all that real: bombings, carjacking, a city locked down, copters loudly circling two miles from our house, gun battles amidst tossed grenades in the streets, etc.? Too insane.

Yesterday, with our town in lockdown, was a long day (more here). It was quite an experience to hear voices on the Boston Police scanner become more subdued as troopers began their 18th straight hour of duty.

But, they kept at it. True grit.

I’m immensely grateful to the police. How to buy drinks for 9,000 brave men and women? What incredible fortitude to go into house after house knowing there could be a well-armed terrorist there to ambush you?

Too much to fathom, too grateful to say much more.

So, I end with this: God bless America, and let freedom ring! #BostonStrong

We are only two miles away from where the second suspect may be hiding. You can hear the helicopters overhead.

I woke up at 5.30 am ready to start my day and was shocked to read that our entire area is in lockdown mode.  I’m listening to the Boston police scanner and monitoring Twitter. What’s happening right now is too surreal to articulate.

Since all schools and businesses are closed, and meetings have been cancelled, we are all huddled at home, monitoring the news and also trying not to think about near misses. For example, a close friend of ours is usually on the same street block during the time where/when the MIT security officer was shot last night. Her daughter dives at MIT, and she parks on that same street to pick her up–and, they often walk around afterwards to get a snack.

It’s a truly eerie time.

I’m grateful to the 9,000 people out there looking for the second suspect and who are risking their lives to do so.

Here’s a helpful summary (from entrepreneur Wayne Chang) of what’s happened so far as of 6.50 am:

Quick recap (pt 1):- 7-Eleven robbery- MIT officer fatally shot- MBTA officer in severe condition- Mercedes stolen

— Wayne Chang (@Wayne) April 19, 2013

Quick recap (pt 2):- Firefight with explosives in Watertown- Suspect #1 had explosives strapped to chest, detonated when detained

— Wayne Chang (@Wayne) April 19, 2013

Quick recap (pt 3):- Police, SWAT, DHS, etc set up perimeter, with Watertown Mall as command center.- Waited for daylight for advantage.

— Wayne Chang (@Wayne) April 19, 2013

Quick recap (pt 4):- Motion sensor went off at 100 Talcott Ave. Suspected safe house.- Ongoing street by street, house by house sweep.

— Wayne Chang (@Wayne) April 19, 2013

Quick recap (pt 5):- Public transit shut down.- All res in Boston & surrounding cities to remain indoors.- All businesses shut down.

— Wayne Chang (@Wayne) April 19, 2013

First responders (John Tlumacki, Boston Globe)

It’s the day after the bombings at the Boston Marathon. I’m trying to do business as usual, but it’s not that easy.

My youngest child and I were in Boston yesterday for the festivities. It would have been very easy to ask, “Hey, do you want to cheer the runners at the finish line?” It’s something I’ve done in years past.

I’m thinking a lot about the families affected by the blasts, and it’s very difficult. The local media, both print and radio, are filled with voices both somber and enraged. As Brad Feld posted today, I too shed tears.

I used to work and live in the area where the bombs were. I go there for business meetings and events quite often. The whole area is in lockdown mode.

I’m grateful that first responders immediately jumped into action to protect and save (the above photo was taken right after the first blast). I’m grateful that the medical tent was so close to the finish line, and that many of the world’s best hospitals are in Boston.

I hope whoever planned these attacks will be caught soon. I hope they realize that nearly all of the non-professional runners in the marathon run to raise money for various charities. In other words, the runners weren’t running just for themselves.

I hope the perpetrators know that the attack happened on Patriots’ Day in Boston, which commemorates the start of the American Revolution. In Boston, that day is a celebration, meant to remember freedom and a fight against tyranny.

Clearly, that fight continues now. So, on this day, we are all Patriots, and we are all Bostonians.

Please consider giving to the victims and their families. The tech community, via Fundraise.com, has set up a campaign here. I just gave, and please do the same. It may not seem like a lot, but the kindness of strangers, a sign of real love, will mean much to these families.